It’s exhausting, isn’t it. Seeing your limitations. Er, rather knowing your limits are so limited, so small as to point you to the One who is limitless.
Setting ideals on what you think are worthy, lovely, and even true; only to realize your humanness is getting in the way.
But that the great I AM is always there to meet you in your limited ideals and not only see you, but have compassion on you and patience with you as He watches you wrestle with these limits…
It’s also exhausting to witness your “contented”ness in the Lord be stretched way past what you’re comfortable with, dare I say it is painful to have such a stretch! To be content in the Lord should feel like solace, but I feel weary of being disappointed… not being able to stay content… but disappointed with MY plans and wishes….and the waiting of it all…
I am weary…but see, God has been so good and He has been close and He has been working…I see it…
We were provided for, comforted even, in a house freely given to us. It’s perfect really, enough beds, outdoor space, next to a church, even a car-free parking lot free to scooter, run and other wild circus practices…
God continues to allows us to love and comfort others….so I know these things are true, lovely and admirable…I get to comfort others in all the ways He comforts me. Even through the turmoil and loss of friends and the agony of friends also waiting, but waiting to bring home a precious one through the beauty of adoption and I get to stand with others when the church has been silent… He truly is sustaining my passion for the work ahead, overseas…
But I’m weary of waiting…. waiting to go and do these things in a place that has no one to stand for them, no one to point them to the great I AM and it is agony. I am grateful; I know His promises find their yes and amen in Jesus and that they are all mine…. but this time of stretching and refining is hard. It has none of the feels….
But we press on….not because we want to be good examples….but because that is where He is found, in the pressing in, in the weariest of moments, in the times of complete desperation for provision…
Satay Stories 